[align=center]”Have you had sex with a man who has had sex with another man?”

Intrusive, ain’t it?

sadly, I answered all the questions and couldn’t give blood because they checked my pulse three times and it was too high.

During the whole day I had the station where I had to make everyone sit down after giving blood for 15 min. and wait on them constantly until thier time was up. Sometimes it was the best job and others I wanted to scream and choke somebody.

I didn’t go to any of my classes and most likely have to play catch up, but it was another nice experience

[/align]

[align=center]I think I will admit that this is the first time in my life that I really don’t feel like going to school tomorrow morning. but I will… merrrrr.

I want to be with my fat boy *giggles*[/align]

[align=center]didn’t go to the quincenera.

so much work- just finished HST3… no onto finishing Bio…[/align]

[align=center]Turkey day was good. I sat and watched TV and then ate. Mashed potatoes and ham. yummmyyyyy. I was gonna get some turkey but every time I got up there was no one cutting any of the 4 we had :shock:… but ham was good enough for me. It was delicious. I got full easily. After a while I even got one piece of apple pie and another of pumpkin. hehehehe.

I got a like cake holding foil like thing full of food for Gary so that he can try some of the food… but I’ll have to wait till tomorrow to give it to him.

My mom saved me an apple pie… I shall eat some tomorrow

Well, on Saturday I have to go to a quincenera like a couple of hours away… so I have to try to finish most of my homework tomorrow… which I most likely won’t… but I’m about done with caring much. Hopefully it will be fun… I haven’t been to one in a while and my tio who play the guitar and sings and cousins who are in a band will probably be the one’s entertaining so that should be interesting as I’ve never really since him/them play.

one thing is for sure: one week without spending atleast half an hour with Gary is driving me nuts. I miss the kid… a lot.

well, I’m off to chat with a friend on Gaia who hasn’t been around in a long time… [/align]

[align=center]Today has been a bit emotional. Although nothing has happened to me directly.

There’s just a bunch of stuff with Gary that makes me sad and hurt… it’s not either of our fault. I can’t do anything to fix it. I still love him no matter what. We can get through anything together. I know it. He knows it. We’re a united front. We have a strong bond and nothing stupid with everything that’s going on is not going to break that up. The part that pisses me off is once I again I feel helpless. I can’t help. I can’t do anything. Whatever I say doesn’t fix anything. Sometimes I wish I was as good with words as Cassie… but I’m not…

and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. after the whole drama that I went through and the time that I had to spend alone with only my own thoughts… I can get them out anymore. I’m shut up. Pent up. I don’t talk like I used to. and I know it pisses him off. but I can’t help it. I don’t know why. Something inside of me is not willing to communicate deeply. The only two people that I talk to on a regular day to day basis is him and her. I can have people IMing me wanting my attention… and I don’t even bother with a hello back. don’t even bother with them… they’re not important. or are they? I just can’t take other peope right now. they annoy the hell out of me.

More than anyone knows… I need this blog. I just need to TALK. I need to say stuff. ANYTHING.

yeah.

oh, and I read something about my friend and her cancer patient mother that passed away. made me cry. her words made me cry.

so… please. when you read this blog. know that I need it. a lot. I need you to comment and tell me what you think. I’m sorry if you don’t understand.

I need people to understand me.

my parents are still arguing. I hate my dad. and even more so… my brother. the bastards.
it’s called betrayal… because a drug was for the latter and is for the former more important.

and those are my thoughts thrown all over.

I want apple pie.[/align]